Our Zombie Policy

This is the Hendrix Policy regarding Zombies. I was on the Zombie creation committee that formed it.

Undead Student Affairs

ZOMBIE INFECTION

In the case of an infection, classes will be canceled immediately. RAs will provide students with guidance, but students are reminded to stay clear of people showing wounds or visibly stumbling. Due to the walking dead’s (hereafter referred to as “zombie”) desire for brains, Hendrix College’s safe point will be Martin hall. RAs will be there for guidance. Best case scenario, the school will be cleared and everyone can return to their normal lives in short order.

In event of zombie infection, the new H-Alert system is designed to inform students of the varying levels of threats.

H-Alert Codes

Zombie Level Four: This is the least severe alert. This means that a positive case has been identified within the continental United States. Students should not be alarmed, but should be cautious when dealing with strangers especially on party nights or Martin at any time.

Zombie Level Three: This alert level signifies that there has been a positive case within Faulkner County. Students are required to stay in their rooms until further notice. RAs will be updating students, but all students should require vocal assurance that the outsider is not a zombie. At this point classes are canceled until further notice.

Zombie Level Two: This alert level indicates that either someone on campus has been confirmed. Classes are canceled immediately, and everyone is to report back to their rooms. Like Zombie Level Three: RAs will insure that students are alright and provide updates. Students are reminded that concealing bites or friends with bites is both a federal offense and a violation of college policy, equivalent of a Major Alcohol Violation.

Zombie Level One: This alert signifies that Hendrix or Conway has been at least partially overrun by zombies. Hendrix encourages safe travel back home, and will be providing as much support as possible on the top floors of Martin, Couch, and Galloway. Students are urged to travel with caution and avoid major roads or large groups of people. (If one or all of these buildings is overrun, alternates will be sent via H-Alert.

ZOMBIE EMERGENCY RESPONSE

In case of more severe outbreaks; the school will be closed until further notice. Transport will be provided, but as clusters of people are easy targets, we recommend securing your own mode of transport home. Hendrix recommends students pair off or get into groups between three and six and locate a vehicle for emergency, but we recommend not having any more people per vehicle than there are doors. Cars with sun roofs are discouraged. Hendrix recommends staying away from interstates as congestion and large amounts of humans make these waiting disaster areas.

If escape from campus is impossible, the ideal locations for waiting for emergency response are the top floors of each building. Staff will be there to barricade the stairs within an hour of an H-alert being issued dealing with zombies. Each student is encouraged to bring a supply of non-perishable goods with them to the safe areas, as Hendrix cannot guarantee that food services will continue to operate during a zombie outbreak.

hENDRIX POLICY REGARDING ZOMBIES

It is Hendrix policy, as well as federal law (Zombie Registration Act 2003,) that anyone bit or injured by a suspicious character must report to a designated observation facility until testing can confirm infection. Health Services is equipped with both holding and testing facilities.

While Hendrix encourages activism and is an all-inclusive institution, it is college policy that zombies are not allowed on campus, regardless of their containment level. Those found to be in support of zombies will face disciplinary action. Hendrix reminds everyone that zombies are not alive (see ZRA 2003, amendment 1490) and Hendrix is supported by federal law in its discrimination of the undead (Amendments 130a and 2011, and ZRA 2003 Section II.)

Anyone found harboring a bite victim will be immediately expelled from the school after confirmation of no infection. Public Safety has been trained in the disposal of zombies harbored by students.

Hendrix policy also prohibits ‘zombie paraphernalia’, including, but not limited to: hands, feet, eyes and teeth of zombies. Possession will result in at least a two year suspension and reporting to the proper authorities.